Have you ever met (or been introduced to) a guy who has an additional X chromosome in every cell in his body? You have now. Yes, it is a thing. I didn't learn of my chromosomal variation until I was 27 years old, married and attempting have children. The additional X chromosome causes infertility, small testicles (otherwise known as Hypogonadism), increased breast hormones and a myriad of other issues that aren't easy to explain as a grownup. Even more challenging as a growing boy who was "supposed to be well behaved" and not get asked to leave every school he ever went to!

Growing up with 5 siblings who were well behaved, got good grades and did what they were told, nobody (including me) could figure out why life was such a challenge for "that one Langhofer boy". By the time I finally graduated from a home-school program (the only school that wouldn't kick me out), I had concluded that I would be rejected just about everywhere I went except for at home.

By the time I graduated I had been expelled or suspended multiple times from 9 different schools, 100s of classrooms, countless youth groups and had more "special meetings" with the grownups than I could count. I had lost 4 best friends because their parents forbid them to hang out with "that troublemaker Ben Langhofer". Yet, none of the grownups could put a finger on why I was so troubled. I didn't lie, cheat, steal, get in fights, curse or use alcohol or drugs and I always showed up for class and attempted to do what I was supposed to do. A school administrator once said "Ben is everything you love in a grownup and hate in a kid". I was that kid.

I hated who I was. I spent much of my teenage and young adult years wanting to end my life. And when I finally learned the source of my pain and frustrations in life, it wasn't empowering, it was more of a confirmation of what I had always believed. I was flawed. And it wasn't in my head. It was in every cell of my body. But in spite of what the leaders had always said about Ben Langhofer and what the doctors finally confirmed to me, one message rang louder than any other. I was a Langhofer. I was a child of God, made in His image and God doesn't make mistakes.

Thankfully, my family had always been a place of acceptance and encouragement. While I often felt alone and without a purpose in the world, the affirmations from my parents and my siblings rang louder than anything that had happened in my life. If it hadn't been for my family and the amazing vision they shared day in and day out through many many heartaches, I don't think I would be here today.

I believe that God designed the family with a much larger purpose than simply populating the earth. And I believe He intended it to be more than just a couple of generations. The family has a far more significant purpose than we can ever imagine. It is easy to lose site of that in the busyness of parenting. We wind up in survival mode rather than pursuing a shared vision together as a team. My work has been about helping bring cohesiveness, shared vision and teamwork to parents of all ages and backgrounds.

It's amazing what I family can achieve when they do family with the same intention and vision as winning coaches and successful CEOs do with their teams.